"Do not be fooled
that being loved
and being fucked
are the same thing.
Their sweat on your
skin is not a promise.
They may touch you,
but that does not mean
Foolhardy | Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)
I have this unadulterated, sometimes seeming irreversible fear that the man I love and have been with for almost 2 years is the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life only in a world of delusion.
Doesn’t that hurt worse than a slap in the face; a fist to the gut?
I’ll wake up at 4 AM or be mid-conversation and something snaps, something shimmers away—it’s the feeling I suppose you would associate with a spell being broken—and I suddenly feel completely isolated in the world. My insides shade over grey with self hate: How could you let the façade continue this long, go this far? How could you waste your time? The snuggles and the pictures and the lyrics and the one-sided love notes and the curling of my gut as I waited too long for him to say he loved me and the tickle fights and the love making and the nicknames do not equate to what I am supposed to be looking for.
We seldom share similar interests. We were raised in contrast. He is often repulsed by the sparkle of my personality. We love each other’s bodies.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. What often feels like intense love may be an object of my imagination.
Bought lingerie today
"Loving me will not be easy. Some days I will be a stuttering apology and you won’t know how to handle all the things I’ve done wrong."
writingsforwinter (via thatkindofwoman)
"My first love
was some insignificant boy
when it should have been
"I was always an unusual girl.
My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean.
And if I said I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying.
Because I was born to be the other woman.
I belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me."
Lana Del Rey - Ride (via sssmokes)